I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin
Doctors are the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too.
Doctors are men who prescribe medicines of which they know little, to cure diseases of which they know less, in human beings of whom they know nothing.
Time is generally the best doctor.
Doctors cut, burn, and torture the sick, and then demand of them an undeserved fee for such services.
As long as men are liable to die and are desirous to live, a physician will be made fun of, but he will be well paid.
The more things doctors are able to do, the more likely that at least a few doctors won't do them. And the result will be more people suing for negligence.
The reason doctors are so dangerous is that they believe in what they are doing.
A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office.
I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription.
When a lot of remedies are suggested for a disease, that means it cannot be cured.