Driving

What a lucky thing the wheel was invented before the automobile; otherwise can you imagine the awful screeching?

While I'm fully aware that money can't buy happiness, I wouldn't mind being known as that melancholy gal who drives the red Lamborghini Reventón.

For every "Drive Safely" sign, shouldn't there be a "Resume Normal Driving" sign?

Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere! - Author unknown, as seen on a shirt

Each year it seems to take less time to fly across the ocean and longer to drive to work.

Driving a brand new car feels like driving around in an open billfold with the dollars flapping by your ears as they fly out the window.

When buying a used car, punch the buttons on the radio. If all the stations are rock and roll, there's a good chance the transmission is shot. - Larry Lujack

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it.

It takes 8,460 bolts to assemble an automobile, and one nut to scatter it all over the road.

Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you and scorn in the one ahead.

Walking isn't a lost art - one must, by some means, get to the garage.

Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do.

If everything comes your way, you are in the wrong lane.

Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly.